


A River Parted

by Meteor752



Series: The stream of a River [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Also this got very angsty, Anger, Angst, Betrayal, Body Horror, I like at least half of 'em, Other, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Slavery, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, You might think that I hate the council but I don't, mention of slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:13:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28127421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meteor752/pseuds/Meteor752
Summary: Someone requested on Tumblr that I would write something with my Star Wars OC (Here's a link to her post btw https://meteor752.tumblr.com/post/189369377529/my-friend-vera-who-cosplayed-as-ahsoka-during), so I didReal Summary: After showing a bit too much to her master, her brother padawan, and her sister, Vera must face the punishment the council has for her. It's a bit more extreme than she expected, however
Relationships: Ahsoka Tano & Original Character(s), Ahsoka Tano & Original Female Character(s), Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Original Character(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi & Original Female Character(s)
Series: The stream of a River [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091993
Kudos: 6





	A River Parted

Deep breaths.

That was the trick, that had always been the trick.

Deep breaths.

She’d been instructed as much when she was just four years old and still just a slave girl, by an older zeltron slave. He’d told her that if you just breathe, and keep yourself calm, then everything would be alright.

Everything was not alright, but Vera still clung to that idea.

Beside her Soka was talking, most likely asking her questions about what had just happened, but Vera was too focused on breathing to make out a single word the Togruta was saying.

Ani was pacing back and forth in front of the two Padawans, most likely muttering to himself considering the movement of his lips. Master Kenobi had entered his quarters the minute they got on the ship, mumbling something about the council, and he hadn’t come out since.

It was when Ani stopped pacing and looked towards the two that Vera snapped out of her thoughts as her Brother Padawan spoke.

“But how did you manage that?” He asked, his blue eyes looking into Vera’s brown, as if they were staring into her soul, judging it’s dark spots.

Vera didn’t answer. In fact, she had not said a word since her feet had hit the ground just an hour or two earlier. Whenever she tapped into the dark side she would usually do it as subtly as possible, but that hadn’t been an option.

They’d been attacked, from out of nowhere. They didn’t have any clones with them, there’d only been the four of them against thousands of battle droids.

They’d all almost died. Vera had been ready to just pass out from exhaustion, she’d been so tired and the blaster wounds hadn’t helped, when she’d seen the look in Soka’s eyes. She’d looked scared, worried, and also very tired.

Vera couldn’t have imagined the person she considered her sister to die in such a way, she deserved to live for a long time and take on padawans of her own.

So she’d snapped.

She’d ignored the pain in her side, she’d ignored her master and Ani calling after her, questioning what she was doing, she’d ignored the rules of the Jedi order.

She’d broken the barrier that stood between her and the dark side inside of her, and she’d taken out the entire army with just the cleansing of her fist.

Vera had expected the other three to be relieved, to be glad that they hadn’t died. Instead, when her eyes fell on them, they looked horrified.

And that was when she realized what she’d done.

“She used the dark side,” Soka answered, sounding tired. She really should check the wound on her arm when they get back, she lost a lot of blood.

“Yeah, but the dark side can’t do that!” Ani replied, throwing his hands in the air, “I mean, did you see her eyes?! There were six of them!”

Vera’s blood ran cold. She’d hoped that the beast would’ve been kept in check, but luck hadn’t been on her side. It was never on her side.

Despite the inner turmoil, she kept her face blank, and her eyes devoid of any emotion. Master Windu would be proud.

“Yeah well, while that might have been a bit odd,” Soka put a hand on her shoulder, and she did her best not to flinch at the touch, “She did save our lives.”

“Well, the Council won’t see it that way,” Ani slumped down on the opposite side of the two padawans, his arms crossed, “They won’t take this lightly, using the dark side to such an extent.”

Vera didn’t answer. The two continued talking between each other, sometimes addressing her, but she toned them out entirely.

They were right, the council would not be happy with her. She’d usually stayed on their good side, following orders and keeping quiet mostly, which when standing next to the duo that was Ani and Soka made her seem like the perfect Jedi. She wasn’t.

She was clingy, she was emotional, she was a liar, and she was a user of the dark side. She was just really good at hiding it all.

Except for this day, apparently.

Master Kenobi exited his quarters, his brow furrowed as if he was deep in thought, which he probably was. He always seemed to be nowadays.

Both Ani and Soka looked up when he did, and Vera carefully did the same, her brown eyes locked with his blue before he looked away.

“What did the council say?” Soka asked, leaning on her still injured arm like it was nothing.

“What did you tell the council?” Ani clasped his hands on the table, seemingly not noticing the trail of blood running down his temple. Those two really need to take better care of themselves.

Master Kenobi ran a hand through his hair, his eyes flickering between the three of them, “I told them that we were ambushed and that Vera needed to tap into the dark side to save us,” He sighed, sitting down beside Ani, “They request her presence when we reach Coruscant.”

Vera still showed no outer reaction, even though she was screaming inside. Her shields were up high, so they would not notice the distress in her force signature, though judging by the small glances Soka kept giving her she guessed that they weren’t high enough.

Vera took one of her light whips from her belt and started fiddling with it in an attempt to calm herself. It would usually work, as it reminded her that she was in control here, not one of her old slave masters, but it didn’t work this time. You can’t fight yourself out of a situation like this.

“Vera, are you alright?” Master Kenobi looked directly at her, she could feel it, but she refused to take her eyes off her lap. She couldn’t stand meeting that gaze.

“She hasn’t spoken,” Soka answered in her stead, ”I think she’s in shock.”

Shock? No, Vera was not in shock. In that regard she was fine. She was, however, absolutely terrified. Not only of the council but also of what the other three would think of her after what she did. They’d surely ask about the extra eyes, which would result in her coming clean about the beast. That probably scared her the most.

Vera bit into her lip, her sharp tooth immediately breaking the skin so the thick tasteful blood filled her mouth. Master Kenobi had told her multiple times not to do that, but sometimes it was hard not to.

“Vera please, we only wish to know what happened,” Master Kenobi’s voice sounded so kind and comforting that it almost hurt. She just wished to wrap herself in a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate in her hands while listening to that kind fatherly voice conversate with Soka and Ani and just forget everything that had happened.

But Vera remained quiet, fearing that she might say something wrong, and Master Kenobi simply sighed.

When the ship approached the landing pad of Coruscant, Vera had already prayed to everything she could think of for it to go well and that they could just forget all of it, and she most likely pray again.

* * *

“Do you care to inform us of what happened, Padawan River?” Mace Windu’s deep voice echoed in the council chamber, and it sent a chill down Vera’s back.

Every council member was there, she noticed, and sat silently while seemingly watching her every move. The only one not seated was Master Kenobi, who stood just beside her with his hands clasped behind his back.

Vera did not say anything. She had never liked talking to people with such a higher rank than her, a scar left behind from her days as a slave. Usually, when she was standing in front of the council she would let someone else do the talking, or just give single word answers.

She could not do that here.

“Padawan River?” Master Windu sounded impatient and annoyed, and it just scared Vera even more. She dug her nails into the palms of her hand, hoping the pain would distract her from what was happening, and she could feel a few drops of blood escape the wound.

“She has not spoken since it happened,” Master Kenobi excused, glancing briefly at her before looking back at Master Windu.

“I see,” He simply said, leaning back in his chair and looking at Master Yoda, “Well then Master Kenobi, why don’t you inform the council of what your Padawan did?”

“Well,” Master Kenobi cleared his throat while looking over at Vera once more, before looking away the second they made eye contact, “After the four of us were attacked and nearly, Vera unleashed an amount of force that could only be accessed by using the dark side, and she crushed the entire army while barely lifting a finger, saving our lives.”

Vera could see some members of the council turn to each other in surprise and shock, but instead of reacting she only dug her nails deeper into her palms.

“Anything else?” Master Kolar asked.

“Well-“ Master Kenobi sighed, “When she turned back towards us after the army was destroyed, she-“ Master Kenobi seemed to hesitate, and Vera prayed that he would just shrug it off and not say anything more, but the force was once again against her “-she had six eyes.”

“Six eyes?” Master Billaba questioned, furrowing her brows.

“Many things, the dark side can do. Change a person in that way, it can not,” Master Yoda said, looking towards Vera with his wise eyes, which always made her feel a bit uneasy. She looked away, glancing over the rest of the council until her eyes met Master Fisto’s, who did not have a look of surprise in his eyes as the rest of them, but more of a silent question.

Vera knew what that question was. She also knew that the answer needed to be given. She nodded her head once at him, and she could see him sigh.

“If I may-“ Master Fisto said, holding up his hand “-but the...extra eyes, has nothing to do with the dark side, Master Yoda.”

Vera bit her lip hard as Master Fisto told the council, told Master Kenobi, about the one time she’d slipped up, the one time the beast had been shown to other people.

She’d just been a youngling, still so new to the temple and her clan, and still not used to the fact that she wouldn’t be hung in chains if she did something wrong.

It had been their first swim lesson with Master Fisto. Timoa Vaplez, one of her clanmates who’d always liked messing with her, had pushed her into the water and she’d had a panic attack.

When Master Fisto had pulled her out of the water, she’d been more beast than humane, with the multiple extra set of eyes covering her face and neck, her jaw unhinged showing off the monstrous teeth and the tentacle-like things growing from her skull.

Master Fisto had calmed both her and her clan down and made her explain what the kriff that had been. She’d made him promise that he would not tell a soul about the beast (and he’d made her clan do the same thing), and the two had bonded a bit after it.

Every time Vera just felt like breaking down she would go to Master Fisto, who would either make her forget her problems with bad jokes or baking, or he would just hug her tightly, sending calm reassurances in the force. If Master Kenobi had not been her master, then she’d surely wanted Master Fisto as it.

Vera could feel Master Kenobi’s gaze on her as Master Fisto spoke, and she only bit even harder into her lip, not caring about the blood that was slowly filling her mouth. The pain wasn’t enough to distract her, it was never enough.

“A beast?” Master Windu questioned, looking directly at Vera.

“That was what she called it, yes,” Master Fisto answered.

“So what you’re saying, is that Padawan River has not only used the dark side on such a large scale to save those she was attached to, but she has also lied and kept secrets from the council for years?” Master Windu’s voice was so stern and cold that Vera just wanted to curl in on herself.

“Discuss this, we have to. Anything to say, do you?” Yoda’s eyes were turned to her again, though his gaze looked different. It was almost...pitiful. Vera desperately wanted back the wise but slightly judgmental look, it was easier to handle.

Vera had a lot she wanted to say. She wanted to defend herself, to apologize to her master, to explain why she did what she did, why she lied, but she couldn’t. No words were able to escape her mouth, so she just stayed silent.

* * *

They’d been waiting for almost two hours. Ani and Soka had originally been waiting with them, but Master Kenobi had sent them to the apartment the two of them shared, which was right next to theirs. He’d said that it would stress Vera out with so many people, but she knew that he just wanted to speak to her alone.

And he’d tried, he’d really tried to make her talk. He’d tried to ask about what happened and the beast, but when she hadn’t responded he’d tried to talk to her about everything. He’d even brought up both Maul and Mr Ohnaka just in an attempt to make her speak. Normally she would be babbling his ears off, as she loved speaking about the two but Master Kenobi never wanted to, sore subject she supposed, but she just didn’t feel like it.

She’d swallowed blood that had filled her mouth from biting her lips four times, and she knew that her master would be disappointed. The normally sweet taste of her own black blood tasted bitter on her tongue, and it made her want to gag.

Master Kenobi had left briefly to retrieve bandages for her hands that had started to fully bleed, and he’d scolded her for doing so, and she’d actually felt guilty about it for a second before her master's sad eyes reminded her of everything that had been going on, and the guilt of that overwhelmed the one about hurting herself.

She knew she could not be silent forever. She knew that when she did start talking again, Master Kenobi would want answers to both what happened and the beast and that she wouldn’t be able to avoid it then.

Still didn’t make it any easier.

* * *

It took them nearly four hours to be called back into the council chamber. Vera still hadn’t spoken, and at the third hour Master Kenobi had become legitimately concerned, forcing her to drink water as if it was because of a sore throat she didn’t talk.

She still had drunk the water, partly to stop worrying her master and partly to get the bitter taste of her own blood out. The cold icy liquid had felt really good against her throat though, and she’d almost asked for a second glass before she stopped herself. It wasn’t worth starting talking just for some water.

The council chamber was silent when they entered. It was usually silent, the council had never been too chatty with each other except when they had discussions, but it still unsettled Vera immensely.

Something was wrong, she could feel it.

“Master Kenobi, we apologize for the long wait,” Master Ti said. Vera had always liked Master Ti, she was kind and motherly and always reminded her of Soka, but while looking at her now she saw none of that maternal warmth, only an area of cold pity.

Master Kenobi didn’t answer her. His eyes were directed towards Master Yoda, who barely seemed to be present spiritually, with his closed eyes and closed off force signature.

“Master Kenobi, under normal circumstances, something like using the dark side to save people would be overlooked, if it would be the only option,” Master Windu sighed, “But using it on such a large scale, during who knows how many times, while also lying about something this important for years during these uncertain times, that is something we can’t ignore.”

Vera wanted to dig her nails into her palms again, but she didn’t want to destroy the bandage that her master had been so careful with. Instead, she tugged on her loose sleeves, just to have something to do with her hands.

“So, the council has discussed, and voted, and-“ Master Windu paused, now looking directly at Vera. For once she stood her ground and did not look away, despite every cell in her body screaming at her to do so “-Vera River, we hereby expel you from the Jedi order.”

It felt as if the entire galaxy froze the second those words came out of his mouth. Vera’s eyes widened, and she knew that if her skin weren’t already chalk-white she would have paled to the color of it.

Expelled.

As in, no longer a Jedi.

Which would mean that she had to leave the temple, leave her sister and brother padawan, leave her master.

It was said Master that pulled Vera out of her racing thoughts by putting a hand on her shoulder, squeezing tightly

“What?! You can’t- She-“ Master Kenobi seemed to stumble over his words, and when Vera sneaked a look at him he seemed to be as pale as she was.

“Do you have anything to say, Master Kenobi?” Master Mundi asked with a warning tone.

Vera knew he couldn’t change anything. The council’s decision was made, and there was nothing he could do to change that. But still, just the idea of him caring enough to defend her warmed her heart. Her heart was still raising and her hands shaking, but she hadn’t collapsed at least, so that was good.

Which is why Vera was surprised when no more words escaped her master's mouth. Instead, he just bowed his head down, mumbling something, and refusing to look at Vera.

So he didn’t care.

Well, that’s good to know.

Everything suddenly hurt. Her palms hurt from digging her nails in them, her lips hurt from biting them so much, her shoulder and knee hurt from being shot in them earlier, and her soul itself hurt.

_He didn’t care._

Vera reached up and wrapped her slender fingers around the thin braid that was trailing down her back. She’d always been so proud of having it, of its great length and the green and yellow bands that were entwined in it. She could barely count the number of times that Soka and her had argued which was better, beads or natural hair.

She tugged harshly on it, ripping the hair from her skull and watched as it fell to her feet. It throbbed slightly on the place where it had been behind her ear, and she supposed that beads were better in this area.

She noticed how Master Kenobi stiffened when she pulled her braid out, but she didn’t care. Why would she?

Instead, she just turned on her heel and walked out of the council chamber, ignoring how Master Kenobi called her name, and tried to keep herself as calm as possible.

Though the moment she was out of the chamber, she ran. She ran, and ran, and ran. She needed to get out, she needed to quickly get to her and Master Kenobi’s apartment, collect her stuff, and then get off this planet.

Though it wasn’t really Master Kenobi anymore, was it? It was just Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master, while she was Vera River, a no one from nowhere.

It hurt even more to think about it.

She knew tears were trailing down her face, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. The people she passed seemed concerned when they saw her, but it didn’t matter, did it? It was not like she would see any of them again.

She passed Barriss. She’d been one of Ahsoka’s best friends. While they had never been particularly close, she still cared for the Mirialan.

She passed Caleb. Caleb who was still so young, who idolized his master and did everything to be just like her, who would often get into heated arguments if Master Bilaba or Ani was better with Ahsoka.

She passed Amore. Amore who’d she’d known since she was just a youngling, the only one of her clanmates she still had contact with, who’d comforted her after the death of their other clanmate Tiivia.

Vera couldn’t stand it, couldn’t stand thinking about everyone she would lose like this.

She must have zoned into herself, as the next thing she knew she was just outside her and Kenobi’s apartment. She could hear muffled voices from the apartment next to it, Soka and Ani’s apartment, but she couldn’t enter. She just needed to get her stuff and leave.

She didn’t bother fumbling with her keys, she simply just forced the door open and closed it as quietly as she could behind her, so Soka and Ani wouldn’t hear that she was there. She didn’t want to talk to them about why she was missing her braid, and why she was packing her stuff.

The apartment was tidy as it always was. Unlike Soka and Ani’s place that had droid parts, food wrappings, and clothes all over the place, both Vera and Kenobi made sure to keep their place clean. It had always been a fun activity to do together when they just needed an excuse to relax, and Vera had always looked forward to it.

She was on her way to her quarters to grab a bag and some clothes, but she stopped in her tracks when she noticed her blanket laying on the couch where she’d put it just a few days earlier.

The blanket was old and itchy and was an absolutely disgusting shade of green, but it smelled of tea, and oil, and grease, and raw meat, and hot cocoa, and all the smells that made her think of her little family. Whenever she would sit on the couch she would wrap herself in the blanket and just take in the smell and the memories that came with them, and just attempt to forget about the ongoing war.

Vera reached out her hand and pulled it towards her using the force. It was not hers, not really, it had apparently belonged to Qui-Gon when he was still a padawan, but she still felt as if she could keep it. She had saved their lives, after all, she must get something for that.

Vera clutched the blanket almost greedily as she entered her quarters, which looked just like she’d left them. She tried not to pay any mind to it as she pulled some of her clothes out of her trunk and stuffed them into a bag, not even bothering with folding them.

She only had one cloak that wasn’t a Jedi Robe, a black one with dark red details that Soka had given her once. She took it, leaving the rest behind.

It was with her light whips that she hesitated. Should she take them? Was she allowed to? She had constructed them, they were hers, but it would be a painful reminder of the life she was shut out of. She ended up bringing them with her, as she’d never been too great with a blaster, and it was always good to have a way to defend yourself. There was a war going on after all.

She pulled the bag over her shoulder and tried to leave the apartment quickly, but the force was really against her today.

“Vera!” Soka called out, entering the apartment door just as Vera exited her room. “You’re back!”

Vera didn’t reply. Instead, she looked at the door that was still open, trying to calculate her odds of getting out of there if she just bolted.

“Where’s Obi-Wan?” Ani asked as he entered the apartment right after her, looking around as if he would be hiding behind a corner.

Karking hell. Ani was strong, broad-shouldered, and powerful in the force. If he wouldn’t feel the fact that she planned to run, he would surely stop her. She could push him away, or use her whips, but a fight was the last thing she wanted, so she simply closed the door to her quarters and bit her lip hard.

“How’d it go with the council?” Soka asked walking further from the way out.

“What are you doing?” Ani asked, crossing his arms and furrowing his brows.

Vera didn’t know which question would be harder to answer. Both made her feel pretty terrible inside, so she did not answer either of them.

Instead, she moved towards the door calmly, to the surprise of the two people in front of her.

She was almost out the door, almost out to freedom, when Ani grabbed ahold of her arm. She stopped, glancing up at him, and felt her blood run cold when she realized what he was looking at. He wasn’t looking at her, not really, instead, he was looking at the place behind her right ear where her Braid was located. Or, had been located.

It seemed to take Ani a second to realize what it meant, but Vera could pinpoint the moment that he did, considering how his eyes widened and his grip loosened. It gave her a chance to pull her arm free and bolt, not caring if they would chase after her or not.

She didn’t want to answer the questions. She didn’t want to tell them about what the order had said, what it had done, and how Kenobi had been silent about it.

Vera must have zoned out again, because the next thing she knew she was far away from the apartment building close to the temple, and instead on her way to rent a ship and a pilot. It was during moments like this that she wished that she could fly without crashing.

She pulled the hood over her head and tried to keep her head down, while keeping her hands on her light whips. Soka had told her of how once a pickpocketer had stolen her lightsaber, and Vera was not risking that.

Vera had no set goal in mind, but she was thinking of Wecacoe. She had no good memories of her home planet, but maybe she could find out what she was and why her family had given her up to slavery. If not, she could always take revenge on her old slave masters. Revenge may not be the Jedi way, but she was no longer a Jedi, was she?

She felt his force signature just as she entered the first hangar she could find, and she contemplated just turning around and walking out then and there. But she couldn’t, this was the only hangar she knew of that was close, and she wanted to get off the planet as soon as she could.

She hadn’t expected to be able to enter and hire a pilot though, she knew that he would confront her, which was why she was not surprised when Obi-Wan Kenobi grabbed ahold of her arm.

“Vera, please,” He sounded exhausted when he spoke, and when Vera met his eyes she could see that he was, among other things. He looked tired, desperate, sad, upset, and almost scared. Kenobi had always been good at hiding his feelings, apart from a few twinkles in his eyes, but now he was practically showing them off to the whole galaxy to see.

“What,” Vera snarled, her voice a bit hoarse because of its lack of use. Kenobi seemed surprised at the fact that she had spoken, but he didn’t let go of her arm.

“Vera, you know there’s nothing that I could have done,” He sounded almost pathetic, and it just felt wrong. He was supposed to be witty, and sly, and strong, and wise, not-

It didn’t matter.

“We both know that’s not quite true,” Vera hissed back, attempting to pull her arm loose so she could flee, but his grip was tight.

“Why did you never tell me about what you are?”

“Because I was scared!” She yelled, pulling on her arm harshly which finally managed to get it free, but she stayed where she was and stood her ground, “The beast is not me, it’s something else, something wild and untamable, and it scares me to death,” Her voice was wavering, and she knew that soon it would start to break, but it didn’t matter, “I was a child, kriff I still am, and to have something as that be apart of you is terrifying!”

“I could have helped, all three of us could have helped,” Kenobi argued back, his voice still weak. She didn’t like it, she wanted it to be loud and upset like her own raspy voice.

“How would I have expected you to help, _Kenobi_ , when the moment I needed you the most, you bit your tongue like a coward,” Vera could see how he flinched, and it felt good. It felt justified.

Vera turned her back to him and fully walked into the hangar, and to her surprise, she was not followed. Good.

If Vera would have looked behind her, she would have seen the dark shadow looming behind her, and how it’s dark red eyes seemed almost delighted as it followed her, as it had done for years.


End file.
